don't eat the strawberry cake

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Secondhand derp

My mother and all of her siblings (and siblings-in-law) have group email threads through which they communicate family updates, interesting messages, etc. But recently there was a misfortune.

You see, one of my aunts just underwent surgery, so my parents, aunts, uncles are figuring out what kind of help she’ll need; hospital rotations; etc. It’s nice to see people caring for one another. Unfortunately, the aunt that sent this email forgot to remove aunt-having-the-surgery from the list, so now there’s a frantic discussion over how to keep said aunt—who has been understandably very anxious and even more neurotic than usual—from seeing the email. 

I foresee fun times ahead.

In which Angel and Spike ask the real questions

Steven Moffat’s Series Eight Episode Guide

randomstarsandwickedthings:

Deep Breath: “It’s a huge introductory show. What if your best friend was somebody else? It’s really about Clara trying to cope with that - and whether or not she even likes who he is, mixed in with a truly terrifying monster.”

2. “We’ve done a really good Dalek one by saying they’re nasty. It’s actually quite a gritty Dalek adventure. We go without question into the most dangerous place in the universe - the last place the Doctor should be, and you will know that by the end of the pre-titles.”

3. It’s the Doctor meets Robin Hood. And it’s about being a hero. The Doctor’s going through a period of his life where he’s worrying about whether he counts as a good man. It’s very, very funny. Everything you want in a good Robin Hood is going to be there.” 

4. “A complete departure for me in terms of writing Doctor Who. A tiny guest cast, no CGI. It’s the story of a date and the Doctor having what appears to be a mild nervous breakdown. There’s a little germ of Coupling in it. It’s actually quite a scary one. I sometimes wonder: “What does the Doctor do when there’s nothing going on? Does he go and find something to poke a stick at?” Of course he must. Essentially it’s downtime for the Doctor. But don’t worry, it involves a monster.”

5. “It’s like a heist movie done with Doctor Who. It’s got a cracking monster in it, one of Neill Gorton’s finest creations. And Keeley Hawes.”

6. “An absolute hoot of an episode with some surprisingly serious bits in it. If you did know somebody like the Doctor and you did think it was okay to slip away with him, what effect would that have on your life? What would that do to the people around you? I sit and watch this one to cheer myself up. I suppose it’s not unlike The Lodger in certain respects.” 

7. “Proper drama. With monsters and all the Doctor Who stuff that you could want. It’s probably quite a big statement of where we are now with the show. This might be where you can argue that the new approach is, for the first time, seen uncluttered by any of the old approach. It’s very strong. And there’s a callback to a past episode. Sort of. You’ll see.” 

8. “Brilliant script. Brilliant idea for a monster. It looks stunning in a very glamorous way. And it has Foxes singing. There’s a callback to something from Matt’s first series. Sometimes I play a long game. And sometimes I just think “We never actually tied that off…shall we just go and sort that now?” Usually because I think it would be incredibly funny. I like the idea that the Doctor takes that long. “Yes, I’ll be there in a moment…” Several years later…”

9. “It’s a horror story. It starts off with a very …. idea and becomes really quite frightening by the end. A scary one. A proper scary one with one of our best ever sight gags in it. It runs throughout the episode and the climax of this particular gag, I think, is just glorious. I remember reading it out at the readthrough and everyone was just clapping and cheering at Jamie Mathieson’s idea.” 

10. It’s a beautiful script; it’s really lyrical and poetic, and boldly so. A fairytale, but not in the sense that I’ve tended to write a fairytale. Heartfelt, eloquent, quite, quite different. The main visual idea is so clever. I think it’s going to be a stunner.

11-12.”The finale. Quite a strong emotional story to this. It’s about Clara and the Doctor and the fact that the way they interact might not be healthy for everyone around them. That sounds very bleak but don’t worry, there’s lots of nonsense in it too. It’s high octane action adventure, with Cybermen. And some proper UNIT stuff.”

Just keep in mind that he’s probably lying his ass off

everyoneinthetardis:

onna4:

David Tennant with his wife

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David Tennant without his wife

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She’s back!

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I’ve been laughing at this for three years

draycen:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

shootingstarsafterdark:

ChaosLife - Homo Hint

With comments too great not to include. You should check the heck out of that webcomic series either way 8D

The comments on this are every bit as fabulous as the actual comic :D

Perry the Pansexual Penguin often gets lost because he goes every which way

Barry the Bisexual Pelican wishes he had it that easy. Ornithologists are always telling him that he should be either a seagull or a peacock, that pelicans are just confused and probably don’t even exist. Now Barry is going to scoop up a nice big beakful of fish and dump it on their heads.

Fun fact: Every time Hester the Homophobic Hen starts squawking, the other birds fly over (or wander, in Perry’s case) and poop rainbows on her head. Sometimes they also go for Arnold the Allied Anteater, who keeps trying to crash the party. President Queer Quail objects to this practice, but only half-heartedly.

NOW SOMEONE PLEASE DRAW THESE

iguanamouth:

youre gonna look so godamn cool

judging by what I’ve read and heard, the loudest-mourned victim of Deathly Hallows is Hedwig.

i-like-bakerst-now-bakersts-cool:



I think of this every time I read that line and every time the entire chapter gets ruined

i-like-bakerst-now-bakersts-cool:

I think of this every time I read that line and every time the entire chapter gets ruined

theycallmethemoose:

batmanisagatewaydrug:

stammsternenstaub:

saxifraga-x-urbium:

asterion22:

prettylittletmi:

Daniel Radcliffe Brushes Off ‘Fifty Shades’ Snub (x)

I appreciate the very real disgust on his face in the second gif. 

i bet rob pattinson just rang him up and screamed don’t do it in the phone

I bet this phonecall happened at 2am with no greeting and Dan knew exactly who it was and why.

I bet Robert Pattinson has made it his mission in life to prevent people from taking shitty roles that will haunt them forever and everyone in Hollywood knows it and now he’s like the Acting Avenger

the Acting Avenger

needs to be a comic

(Source: heroinesaddiction)

simplypotterheads:

Daniel Radcliffe Reacts to J.K. Rowling’s New ‘Harry Potter’ Story

Thank you, katnisseverdden, for bringing this to our attention!

In relation to Dean's sexuality. The actor himself, has said that making dean bi or having him in love with Castiel makes him uncomfortable. NTM there is nothing so gay as straight guy friends. (or girl friends for that matter)

Anonymous

bisexualdeanwinchester:

queerpotters:

straight gGUY UNCOMFORTBALE?????? straight guy……fEELINGS hurt????? straihgt friends SO GAY affection for same GENDER is GAYY!!!!! straight friends being FRIENDS, GAY representatioN????? why isnt EVERYTHING about ME, STRAIGTH PEOPLE

laoih:

about Dean's relationships with women

When people aren't online

  • Regarding most people: Eh, they're probably busy
  • Regarding newlyweds: Eh, they're probably having lots and lots of sex

roisinlikesbooks:

ninthdoctorsbutt:

YESTERDAY EVENING I WAS WONDERING WHY REMUS LOVED CHOCOLATE SO MUCH WHEN I REALISED

CHOCOLATE IS POISONOUS FOR DOGS

WHAT IF YOUNG REMUS STARTED LOVING CHOCOLATE BECAUSE HE THOUGHT IT KILLED THE WOLF PART OF HIM

just once I want a Lupin headcanon that doesn’t make me want to sent myself on fire

He doesn’t love chocolate, he prescribes and dispenses it. But this doesn’t mean that this headcanon can’t be true. For example…

——————————————————————————————

Remus loved dogs—or at least he had, before the werewolf. Now he can barely bring himself to look at one. The dog books and the dog puzzle, the stuffed dog he’d slept with since he was an infant: he’d thrown them in the fire, and his parents didn’t ask why. Now he spends most of his time in his room, reading and occasionally wondering how many months before the family moves again.

“Robby, what the hell are you doing!”

Remus raises his head and looks out the window. There was Mr. Parrish, the neighbor, yelling at his son. Robby and Remus are around the same age, and once more Remus thinks bitterly of his forced isolation. Somehow, the Lupins always end up living near families whose children could well be Remus’s friends if not for what happens at full moon.

“I just wanted to give Jilly a treat!”

Jilly is the Parrish’s terrier. Spunky, short-haired and the kind of pet Remus would have loved. She avoids the Lupin house, and Remus is sure that she can smell something amiss.

“Robby, that has chocolate; she could die!”

Remus sits straight up. Chocolate. How could he have forgotten? As if on cue, his mother knocks on his door. “Remus, I’m baking. Is there anything you want?”

Hope doesn’t expect much of a response—inevitably Remus will reply “Nothing” and eat whatever she serves. But this time he opens the door, looks into her eyes in a way that is almost frightening, and says, “I’d like a chocolate cake, please.”

And that is how it starts.

——————-

“Has Remus been acting a little odd lately?” Lyall asks one night.

“You mean the chocolate?”

“Yes; he’s been eating it like a maniac.”

“I know.” Hope sighs as she sits down across from her husband. “It’s like some kind of obsession. I asked him yesterday, why he was eating so much chocolate, and he just shrugged and said he liked it. There was something strange about the way he said it, though. Almost desperate.”

——————-

He is desperate. Two weeks of more chocolate than he’d thought existed, and there is no difference. The full moon is tonight, and this will be his test.

Remus crams another candy bar into his mouth and tries not to vomit. One more, he keeps telling himself. One more cookie, one more, two more, three more Mars Bars, anything with chocolate. Anything to kill the wolf (or if necessary, he thinks grimly, himself). His stomach cramps, and he welcomes the pain. Maybe it is a sign. Maybe he will fall ill, fall terribly ill as his body fights to expel the beast, but then recovers a normal person.

Normal.

A handful of chocolate and maybe he can be free. He can make friends with Robby Parrish and the other children. In a few years, he can go to Hogwarts. He can graduate, get a real job, maybe even marry and have children. At the very least, he won’t have to go through the monthly ritual of watching his father magically seal the windows, silence him and then lock him into his room to begin the transformation.

It will work, he thinks. He clenches his fists against the pain and knows that inside of him, the monster is dying.

He contemplates the candy wrappers in the bin and wonders what his parents think. No matter; he can explain it to them when the moon shines through the window and he remains human. Suddenly, for the first time in four years, he is eager for the night. He swallows the last cream cake just as his father comes into his room to begin the monthly ritual.

Remus watches in silence as the blinds snap shut, and the contents of his room soar gracefully into the hall. The closet is sealed. Then comes the hardest part: Lyall points his wand at his son and says, “Silencio.”

He backs out and locks the door.

Remus paces the room. He stops at the window, and he fancies that the room is growing brighter. Yes, here is the moon, and here he is, still human. He wonders if he should knock at the door and tell his parents that they have their son back.

Just as he reaches out, moonlight—real moonlight, now—shines silver into his room, and he feels a familiar prickling. He looks down at his hand and yes, brown fur is growing there and there is the excruciating pain as his bones start to change.

No! He wants to scream. No, it’s dead, I am a human…human. Flesh.

The scent is everywhere, the scent of human flesh, and he begins to search for it.

——————-

Lyall and Hope Lupin can never sleep on these nights. Even Silenced, the werewolf can be hear prowling around Remus’s room, sometimes tearing at the wall. So they wait, until the sun is fully risen, and they feel it is safe to see their son.

They listen for a moment at the door and hear nothing. Lyall whispers “Alohomora!” and the door opens.

Remus sits in the corner farthest from them. He is wide awake. “Don’t come in,” he says.

His parents obey.

“Do you want your things back?” Lyall asks.

“Yes, please.”

Lyall flicks his wand, and suddenly Remus’s room is back to normal. “Is there anything else you need? Did you hurt yourself?”

Remus shakes his head. “Just go. Please.”

“We’ll be here if you us,” says Hope before closing the door.

——————-

So that’s the way it is. The monster can’t be killed. No going outside, no friends, no Hogwarts, no life outside this endless cycle. He is a werewolf, for now and for always. He’s heard people say that books provide an escape; but there’s no escaping from this. The books tell him everything he’ll never have.

In a book, Remus would tear around his room, destroying his own possessions. But this is not a book; this is reality. So he lies back on his bed and stares at the cracks in the ceiling. If he squints just right, he can see the phases of the moon.

omfg "talk about" is a lot cuter than ask me

  • 1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.
  • 2: Talk about your first kiss.
  • 3: Talk about the person you've had the most intense romantic feelings for.
  • 4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far.
  • 5: Talk about the best birthday you've had.
  • 6: Talk about the worst birthday you've had.
  • 7: Talk about your biggest insecurity.
  • 8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of.
  • 9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.
  • 10: Talk about the biggest fight you've ever had.
  • 11: Talk about the best dream you've ever had.
  • 12: Talk about the worst dream you've ever had.
  • 13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.
  • 14: Talk about a vacation.
  • 15: Talk about the time you were most content in life.
  • 16: Talk about the best party you've ever been to.
  • 17: Talk about someone you want to be friends with.
  • 18: Talk about something that happened in elementary school.
  • 19: Talk about something that happened in middle school.
  • 20: Talk about something that happened in high school.
  • 21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.
  • 22: Talk about your worst fear.
  • 23: Talk about a time someone turned you down.
  • 24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.
  • 25: Talk about an ex-best friend.
  • 26: Talk about things you do when you're sick.
  • 27: Talk about your favorite part of someone else's body.
  • 28: Talk about your fetishes.
  • 29: Talk about what turns you on.
  • 30: Talk about what turns you off.
  • 31: Talk about what you think death is like.
  • 32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.
  • 33: Talk about what you do when you are sad.
  • 34: Talk about the worst physical pain you've endured.
  • 35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.
  • 36: Talk about your guilty pleasures.
  • 37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.
  • 38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people.
  • 39: Talk about things you wish you'd known earlier.
  • 40: Talk about the end of something in your life.